I know you must have been very tactful when you were blogging the latest entry. Probably for fear of repercussions, or for hurting me more. I don't know which.
I'm not someone who likes blogging about problems, because I know this blog has a certain number of readers and I don't like to bring unnecessary attention.
However, after reading your post, i think it's time i should say something.
I've perhaps told him and not to you directly. I'm not sure if as your boyfriend, is he choosing to support you blindly, not explaining to you the severity of the issue.
Even as one of his bestie, I cannot tolerate the fact how you guys can ignore everyone else and only think about yourselves.
I've always been opened to the idea of asking you guys along whenever I'm out. Sometimes even if it's a date, sometimes when I wanted to meet up & have a little chit-chat. I'd try to be available whenever you guys need me.
When he has an issue with you, I was by his side, wiping his tears.
When you had an issue with him, I'd listen and try to provide some constructive comments to help your relationship.
I'm not denying that you guys have helped me alot this past one year.
You've helped me so much that it's beyond words that I can just simply say. You've been there listening, though not constantly, but still, you guys were there, perhaps hiding in corners which I could not see.
I could not understand nor fathom why was I not informed about the party's timing. Waiting like a fool is one thing (& a small thing), but calling names was pushing limits.
When I said that you guys were too much, you should have explained.
Explain why were you so late. Explain why were you still not there by 6, the time I left. Why you said you were heading out at 2plus but never did.
Explain why he could say 'CB, never wait for us.' I attended the party as one of his close friend and also as a family friend. I bought probably the most expensive gift I've ever bought a 11-year-old.
When I expected answers and explanations, I got nothing. Or rather, I got a blog post saying how 'you've put in so much into this friendship and it feels like biting the hand that feeds you'. You DO NOT know me enough to be saying that. You said that you've put in 100% into this friendship, but so very often, you just ran away.
Yes, because running away is what you liked to do.
I said as a mature adult, you should be responsible for your actions instead of playing the blame-game.
& what did you say?
'I act like the mother of righteous when all I am is a pain in the ass.'
It pains me more, knowing that this form of communication is equivilant to behind-my-back, which I would have much rather preferred you telling me I'm a pain in the ass to my face. I would have liked to talk it out, thrash things out if necessary. But the blog post was too hurtful for me to continue any form of interaction.
You probably did not know, but at Alan's wedding, I was in pain. I've never looked at you in the eye. It feels so uncomfortable, like we were strangers, but yet at the same time, I cannot bring myself to forgive you, especially not forget.
I must also admit I am angry with him because he could have done more to restore our friendship. But he didn't. I should have known. He loves you so much that he would be blind to many things. Even the feelings of someone he should also try to protect.
To you, you feel that you've waited so long so you chose to shut your doors to this friendship. To me, this time is not enough to resolve the hurt. My doors did not even manage to flutter open.
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