13th

I'll be using the car in approx 13hours' time.

On Friday the 13th.

HOLY SHIT & FML.


From what I know, I'll be picking Buddy, lunch, followed by perhaps Nicholas (Kovan), then to pick Keagan (Pasir Ris) and to the BBQ.
Leaving by 9, & I think heading to Orchard to pick up Keefe & gang before MAYBE another road trip to Msia to pump petrol.

Then Saturday I have no idea where we're going.

Sunday with poly darlings Bao, Lulu, Pooms, Lala & maybe Nette to perhaps Asian Civilisation Museum and a late picnic.

Monday I'll be sending my younger sis to school before getting breakfast for the family.



The best thing is: I'm a road-idiot.

.

I feel....

Like shit.

Seriously.
I mean, besides the pain, fear, then followed by discomfort from the CT scan, my right arm vein is swollen & blue-blackish.



Basically, I freaked out today.
I also cried when the damn needle was inserted & screamed when I saw the blood.
I tried to act cool when I was pushed into the machine because i thought they'd have a camera on me, but deep inside when the heat rush started, I was on the brink of tears.


But meeting up with my girlies for Sex & the City movie was the most AWESOME thing that ever happened today.
Thank you, darlings. :)))))))


.

Food Poisoning?

I'm not feeling very well now, so I'm just going to simply explain a little about the pre-loaded photos.

- Shopping spree at Far East with Bao & we had our manicure. People were asking about my maxi-dress, which happens to be a really good deal.

- Simple birthday celebration at home! Took photos with Cartoon!

- Stayover at Bao's place with Puma, Nrl & Aishah!

- Celebration of Jessie's birthday at Ajisen Causeway point!


















Today was a really hectic day as well, lots of walking & eating.

But somehow I'm not feeling very well. Fearing that it could be food poisoning.
FML.

What Type of Sleeper Are You?

Ever wondered what your sleeping position says about the kind of person you are? A survey of 1,000 British reveals that the six most common sleeping patterns are indicative of personality types.

"Foetus position: A whopping 41% of participants sleep in this curled-up manner. Women are twice as likely to rest like this and it is listed as the most common position. These sleepers are said to have a tough exterior but are still sensitive and may appear to be shy but warm up quickly.

Log position – If you sleep on your side with both arms down, you are a social, easy-going person who is trusting, sometimes to the point of being gullible. The study showed 15% of people sleep like a log.

Yearner position - A close third is the side-lying position with both arms out in front of the body, with 13% of partipants sleeping like this. Yearners are noted to be open-minded and still cynical, suspicious, and stubborn about sticking to decisions once they are made.

Soldier position - These sleepers lie on their backs with arms down and kept close to the body. This 8% study is said to be reserved, quiet, without fuss, and hold themselves and others to a high standard. Soldier sleepers have a higher likelihood for snoring due to the flat-back position, which may not cause them to wake up often but may result in a less restful night’s sleep.

Freefall position - Those people who lie on their bellies with arms under or wrapped around a pillow with head turned to the side, make up 7% of the population studied. Freefallers are brash, outgoing, and are very uncomfortable with criticism.

Starfish position - Sleepers who lie on their backs with arms up near their head or the pillow account for 5% of participants. These people are good listeners, helpful, and are uncomfortable being the center of attention. People who sleep in starfish position are more likely to snore and to suffer from a poor night’s sleep more often."

I belong to the 'Yearner' and 'Foetus' category. I sleep on my sides & very often, I need a large pillow (+ my usual bolster) on my left for me to hug.
Initially I thought it was a sign that I desperately needed a guy/ boyfriend. But now I think that it's to ease my mind by having all empty space taken up to prevent 'unwanted guests'.

I'm never going to be a 'soldier' or 'starfish' because I'm scared of the so-called 鬼压床 , or simply, a ghost sitting on you.


Freaky...

If.

I feel so useless recently.

I'm clearly able-bodied, but yet because of a medical report, I am not able to continue flying.


The physician told me, with my problem, I should not work as a air stewardess because it will be too taxing for my body, so she asked me to give that up.


How do I put it to her that I would rather die?


I'm so scared, & so disappointed in myself.
I blamed God, for making my journey so smooth from the beginning, only to crush me when we're at the end.
I've been banned by SQ for 6 months, because I didn't make the management round.
Just when I told myself to focus & work hard for JQ, my blood test result showed problems, which the doctor will not be able to pass me.

In one day, both my dreams were dashed.


If I could find some way to kill myself (eating sleeping pills, drowning etc), I'm sure I would already have been dead now.
If I died, I probably STILL won't be a happy ghost 6 feet under.


Initially thinking that I'm going to have a happy 20th birthday celebration next Wednesday, anticipating Jetstar's training on the 17th and hesitating if I should attend NYP's graduation ceremony on 21st.

Now, the birthday celebration will still go on, but I won't be happy.
Jetstar's training, I won't be going.
Graduation, I feel like I wouldn't want to go, because I don't want to face people. People who will ask me what am I doing now, why haven't you start training.



Wanting to cry each night, but my tears have already all dried up.

If anyone have the power to heal my wound, or the power to console me so my pain can be lessen, please...save me.

I'm trying to look like everything is fine, but I'm bleeding inside.

*poots*

My current FML mood.